When you have to lie to yourself

I guess some are likely to say that lying to yourself is the worst thing you could possibly do. However, I think it's more relative than that. For example if you lie to yourself saying 'I definitely have lost weight....' compared with saying 'Nah, I didn't kill him' to the police, well, let's just say the latter takes presidence. I'm not talking about lies like these. I'm talking about when you tell yourself you don't love someone, when you do. Sometimes i consider, very briefly, running away, just running away, getting some clothes together, my lucky ring, a good book, a notepad, pulling some money out my arse and just finding somewhere. Somewhere where "He" isn't. Don't get me wrong, this isn't going to turn into a suicide plea. I'd never actually run away, sometimes it just seems like a nice idea. Then I wouldn't have to worry about going to bed at night and my thoughts, almost systematically turning south-east. The general direction of 'His' most likely whereabouts. It seems almost easy to tell myself I don't love him. For about 30 seconds (on a good day). But why, why oh why, must he make it so hard? If he didn't cuddle me and make silly jokes at my expense, I'd feel almost nothing for him. Almost. Surely thousands of teenagers around the world can empathise with me. Everyone's been through this tumultuous experience at least once. I'm sure that at some point I've put someone through this. And my God. I'm such a bitch. Because not knowing what is right, what is the truth and what is a lie, is something particularly difficult for anyone to grasp. I realise I haven't come to a specific conclusion in this my latest 'blog' but that's because there isn't one. There is no easy way out. God help you if ask the second party what the fuck is actually going on. (Social suicide and an easy 8.3 on the awkwardness scale) So I suppose, all us love drunk idiots should just do what's easiest. And lie, when he/she gets a new girlfriend/boyfriend, just laugh and act as normal, when they kiss you on the cheek before leaving, kiss their cheek and turn away, before they can see by your eyes that you want to keep them forever. And when they ask 'Baby, what's wrong?' you look to your right and tell the biggest, most common lie of all: 'I'm fine'. End.

Selling yourself

So, 'blogging' is a completely new thing for me. I've never done one before, but I figured, I like writing, and as I spend the vast majority of my time, scrolling through the endless, mundane posts on Facebook, maybe 'blogging' is a slightly better way to spend my time.
Due to my limited knowledge of what is and isn't acceptable/ normal on blogs, I decided it'd also be a good idea to have a little poke around, so using my even more limited knowledge of how to work this website (I'm a woman, my place is in the kitchen, not in front of a laptop) I EVENTUALLY learned how to look through other people's blogs. And my GOD. Not only was I surprised and dismayed to see how many blogs there are about Jesus (sorry guys, but no-one wants to hear about your particular views on the Bible. Do us all a favour and keep them to yourself, before someone makes a harsh comment and you find a way to justify killing them in the name of 'God') but even more surprised to find how many people are selling themselves on here. I mean, you can find anything from thread, to fucking home-made dolls (if you've ever come across that dolls one I'm sure you agree when I say FUCKING SCARY SHIT).
I'm not aspiring to be the Simon Cowell of the blogging world, but guys, if your business is failing, it's time to start a new business, rather than find a cheap, easy alternative to owing a real shop. Go out and find a real job! stop mooching of the tax payer! (Unless you're American, in which case, stop mooching of your parents).
Either way, after searching through endless piles of shit on Blogger, trying only to find out if using the word 'cunt' would be considered inappropriate, and finding mainly these 'blogs' I've made an assumption that i can say what the fuck I want. Regardless of others' opinions, because as much as I try to care, i just can't do it. End.

'Interesting' blogs about Jesus/God/Religion:
http://rosa-munda.blogspot.com
http://cyclingpeace.blogspot.com


'Interesting' blogs written by people desperate only to sell you stuff:
http://debeecampos.blogspot.com
http://pinkydots.blogspot.com
http://diamonddollscraftyspace.blogspot.com
http://dragonsembroiderers.blogspot.com

White Lies

I suppose in the 'teenage world' it's hard to understand what's wrong with the occasional 'white lie'. You know, especially with it being around Christmas, every teenager in the world is preparing themselves for the 'Yes mum, no honestly, I love my new snuggie... and yeah, of course I wanted a pink one'. Or maybe you're lucky enough to have someone at Christmas and you're round at their house, marvelling in his/her mothers 'wonderful (hangin') boiled (alive) sprouts (pieces of shit)', So yes, obviously white lies are necessary in every day life, and honestly, you're doing it for their own good!
But, they never see it that way. Recently I told my parents that I definitely don't smoke. They then soon found out that I definitely do smoke. Out my window. Not smart. But, I'm still finding it hard to understand why they don't understand why I did it! Did they want to know I smoke? No. Were they happy when they found out? No. And honestly, who still believes the phrase 'I'm more bothered that you lied!'. Uh, no, you're just using the fact that I lied as an excuse to make me feel even more guilty, and thus you, yourself are lying, therefore I should be the one shouting at you etc etc etc.
Personally, I think that white lies are necessary in this day and age. As a teenager I guess anyway. I mean, in the words of Mean Girls (my life) it would be 'social suicide' to join the maths team. It makes more sense to go to a club and drink with you're friends. There's nothing more embarrassing that saying 'sorry mate, I can't come, my mum wants me to make her a Facebook account'. (trust me, I've had to do this). And you're not doing anything SERIOUSLY wrong if everyone else is doing it? Right?
Aha, THAT my friends, is where you're wrong, because, when you're parents don't know where you are, you open yourself up to a lot of dangers..... nah, just kidding. If you stay safe and go out it'll be fine. Promise. End.

Snuggie: A blanket that you can put your arms through from JML. I love JML. If you don't know what JML is, I suggest you Google it immediately
Hangin': An English/ Yorkshire term for mingin', gross, nasty, awful etc.